So The Country I'm Going To For Six Months Is......

     So Thursday was a day that everyone here at the ranch was waiting for – specifically we interns. It was assignment day. Yup, it was the day we finally got our assignments to which country we would be serving for the next six months starting in April. Would we be sent to El Salvador, Costa Rica, Uganda, or Kenya? There was no doubt that this was the question floating around in every one of our minds. So where did I get sent to you want to know? Well, I could tell you in a simple one or two-word answer – or I could tell you the story….

     For years even before I thought of coming to Potter’s Field Ranch I desired to work with orphans in Latin and South America. Even though this was a noble ambition, I wanted it so much that God started speaking to my heart and showing me that I was loving working with kids more than Him and that it had become an idol in my life. I began confessing  it to Him and asking Him to take back His rightful place in my heart.  

     So, when I was contemplating coming to PFR, I heard that they had a few different places where the interns could serve and that one of them was El Salvador which had an orphanage. That was great news! However, I soon found out that the pastors would have the final say of where we would go. After learning that, I was wondering if I should go to PFR since there was a chance that I might get sent to Africa which I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was not the desire of my heart. But I still felt that God was calling me here and knew that He could do anything and if He wanted me to go to El Salvador, He would put it on the pastors’ hearts.

     However, while I was here these past few weeks, I would still take advantage of dropping hints letting any of the staff know that my heart was at El Salvador and was hoping to get sent there. Meanwhile, God was still working on my heart, showing me that I was struggling with putting before Him my desire to go to El Salvador and work with the orphans and kids there. We interns were assigned a book called Pursuit of Happiness by Tozer. In one of the chapters, Tozer talks about Abraham and how he had to lay down Isaac and be willing to sacrifice him before God would give him back. Tozer mentioned how we have Isaacs in our lives and have to be willing to lay them down if we want to pursue God and let Him take His rightful place in our lives. Of course, while I was reading that chapter, I knew my “Isaac” was my desire to be going to El Salvador. So for some time, I had been going back and forth with trying to lay my desire down and asking God to be the most important thing in my life – but it wasn’t easy. At times I would refrain from dropping hints to the staff about where I wanted to go so that I could just trust God; but at other times I found myself still doing it.

     Well, the night before the pastors were going to meet and make their decision on our assignments, Tony, the guys’ RA, told us to write down on a piece of paper where we each thought God was calling us. “This was it!” I thought. I still thought God was calling me to go to El Salvador and this was a way that God would allow me to make my thoughts known. “Make sure you write where you think God is calling you and not yourself,” Tony said before he left. I went up to him and asked him how would I know if it was God telling me or not? “You just will,” was his reply. Thanks, Tony! That didn’t help much! But I still did think God was calling me to El Salvador. So I wrote that down on a piece of paper and gave it to Tony the next morning feeling good.

     After breakfast, Pastor Don McClure was teaching us interns. He taught on Jonathan and mentioned how Jonathan could be friends with David because he was secure in who he was in God. God was enough for him; and even though he was the one in line to be King, he wasn’t threatened by David who was anointed by God to be king instead. I thought of myself and whether God was enough for me or if I needed to be in El Salvador. Pastor Don went on to talk about how Jonathan and his armor bearer alone attacked 20 Philistines against all odds because they just trusted God. He mentioned how there are spiritual senses that are as real as the physical which God wants to develop in us. But sometimes, God wants us to follow our spiritual senses and have faith in Him and what He’s telling us to do even when it goes against our physical senses and all logic. As Pastor Don was teaching, God was putting on my heart so clearly that I should tell Tony that even though I had wanted to go to El Salvador this whole time, that now I believe God was putting Uganda on my heart. Inwardly, (which I would not tell Tony) I still and always did want to go to El Salvador; but I strongly felt that God was calling me to do this to lay down my “Isaac” and have faith in Him.

     So that’s what I did. I laid down my Isaac and told Tony about Uganda and decided to trust God. That day, I was wondering if God would still send me to El Salvador or if He wanted me in Uganda. I still know He had put the desire of Latin America in my heart and that He would give me the desires of my heart as I delight myself in Him. What I didn’t know was when He would give me the desires of my heart. Would He give me the desires of my heart now, or first let me go to Uganda for six months?

     The next day (Thursday), we were all suddenly told to meet in the upper room. We found out that it was time for the pastors to reveal our assignments. My heart was beating fast. I had thought that we were going to have to wait a week or two before they revealed it to us. Knowing that I was about to find out where I was going, I tried telling myself the same thing that I had been since the previous day: that God can use and bless me greatly in Uganda, and if it’s His will I go there, then He knows what He’s doing. I had a hope that God would still send me to El Salvador but didn’t want to get my hopes up in case that wasn’t His plan.

     After Pastor Mike and the other pastors talked a little bit about the assignments, Pastor Mike began letting us know the teams and where we were going.

    

The results were as follows:

Josh, Megan, and Caitie are going to Costa Rica;

Jordan and Austin are going to Kenya;

Jesse and Shaquanah are going to El Salvador…….

 And me –

I’m going to El Salvador, too.

P.S.

     I thank God for what He’s doing in my life, but please still pray for me. God’s revived my Isaac, but pray that although He’s given it back to me, I don’t hold onto my Isaac too tightly and let it become an idol in my life. May I love the One who gives me the desires of my heart and not love the desires of my heart which He has given me more than I love Him.

     I pray this story encourages and blesses you.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.